There was this poor lad named Red Dwarf
My artwork with Kai’s Goo he morphed
He showed no repentance
So soon came his sentence
He learned that I’m ruthless in court

–David Weidemann
–Graphic Designer

Haiku!

It hath been stolen!
Alert owners view snatched works
To court, in lawsuit!

–Cousin Tser

I thought, since over fifty years had passed,
Since nineteen hundred and eleven,
That all the copyrights had lapsed
With Gilbert up in Heaven

(Chorus: He thought the copyrights had lapsed, &c.)

In theaters and halls I danced and sang,
My confidence growing firmer,
Until I received a call from the gang
Representing old G. Schirmer.

“Their royalties are what they sent us for.
(Though the law is rather murky,
It seems that the piano-vocal score
Is considered derivative work, see!)”

(Chorus: It seems that the &c.)

Thus chastened, I found the antidote
To the threat of litigation,
I ‘d restrict myself to what Gilbert wrote,
And to Sullivan’s orchestration.

(Chorus: He’ll set &c.)

At length I became convinced I was safe
From the traps in the Berne Convention,
But I added a number after “Why poor, Ralph?” Based on Sullivan’s diary’s mention.

They interrupted our opening night,
And they served us with a subpoena.

(Chorus, spoken: No!)
(Soloist, spoken: Yes!)

“`Unpublshed works’ retain copyright, And dina d’malkhuta dina/.”

(Chorus: “Unpublished works” etc.)

So, should I claim copyright? Sure… copyright (c) 1994 Andrew M Greene; republication in electronic form or in any publication with a circulation of under one thousand is permitted provided this copyright notice remains attached.

Point and click,
Copy and paste.
Grab it now,
No time to waste

Display it there,
Up on your site.
Say it’s yours,
Oh, you’re so bright.

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Use it now,
It cannot fail,
Until the judge
Sends you to jail.

Save your pennies,
The suit will come -oh,
And then you’ll wish
You’d won the lotto.

Now you’ll work
From dawn ’til night,
Paying for
Your stolen site.

A check each month,
‘Til life shall end,
Unto your victims
You will send.

So…

Before you point
And click and paste,
Think again.
Don’t be in haste.

Oh do you have
A hundred K
In your account
For you to pay?

No???

Perhaps it’s worth
The awful pain…
If you have one,
Use your brain.

They’ve arrested a man of Cadiz
For uploading what wasn’t his.
Said his lawyer, the twit,
You’ll be out on a writ –
As soon as I find out what one is.

–Arthur

Mimicry Limerickry

A young man once stole all our sites.
He musn’t have known ’bout our rights.
We did what we ought,
Now he has been caught,
We hope that he likes wearing stripes!

There was a young web thief in Hershey,
Who thought she could count on our mercy
In spite of the fact
She was caught in the act,
And now has less coin in her pursie.

There was a young web wright in Maine,
Who didn’t like using his brain,
Uploaded our site
One cold winter night
And now knows that lawsuits bring pain.